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Showing posts from October, 2017

Should you go "no contact" with an abusive parent or partner?

This is a personal decision.

However, in making the personal decision there are some questions you may want to ask yourself.

These are questions I personally found invaluable about how much to withdraw from a person. It is a rather simplistic formula, so I have included psychologist, Judy Rosenberg's videos below to give you some other perspectives on it, and a video by popular life coach, Lisa Romano, as well as some articles at the very end.

With partners, or friends (or potential partners, or friends):

I ask myself does this person care about my feelings? Do they care about how they effect me? If the answer is "no", then I conclude they don't love me or care about me. Note: I also conclude they don't care about me even if they switch to concern and care later on. In other words, I don't believe that love bombing and hoovering to be authentic love. Love and caring does not switch on and off; if it is real it is a constant (Jeckyll and Hyde traits are common amo…

how to tell if you have abusive parents

poster is © Lise Winne
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Warning: this post contains language that is not appropriate for children.

This post is also intended to help you discern whether you were or are a victim of child abuse.

This is a quote from a WikiHow article entitled How to Deal with a Bad Parent:

Federal legislation defines child abuse as “Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation"; or “An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm."
In a post entitled 9 Types Of Behavior You Shouldn't Tolerate From Your Motherby Isadora Baum, CHC is one of the precursors to knowing whether you have a toxic parent (i.e. someone who is not healthy for you emotionally or psychologically). The list includes (abbreviated version):

1. She's rude to you
2. She's uninterested in your life
3. She doesn't think s…